Journal Set 2 - Perfectionism
PERFECTİONİSM
Today I'm going to tell you about Perfectionism and its positive and negative effects.On the
one hand,It can have some damaging effects. Perfectionist
people’s goals can be difficult to reach, so they can easily disappointed by
this thougts and get depressed.In addition,expecting big things from life can
lead not only failness but also hopelessness.But,on the other hand,it might
contribute a great deal to them in some ways. For example;
perfectionism can give motivation for accomplishments and encouragement to face
obstacles.In addition to this,perfectionist people have high standarts of life
and fewer mistakes to fix later.Finally,perfectionism is not fully useful but
not totally harmful.
Dear Arif,
YanıtlaSilI liked your journal entry very much. Your topic is very successful. You preferred an important and interesting subject. I completely agree on your ideas. You wrote on the situation in which perfectionistics are and described effectively the problems they have faced with. However, when I am reading your journal, I see some grammar problems. Some of them result from your forgetfulness. For instance, in this sentence ''... so they can easily disappointed by this thougts...''you forgot to write 'be' which makes the verb passive. With respect to the content of your journal, I think you should have given much more details and various perspectives about the topic, but you gave voice to really essential points of it, which is very useful. As for organization of your paragraph, I can say it is so convenient to our typical writing rules; that is, you arranged your reasons in order and lined them up respectively. Lastly, when it comes to your language use, it is very good except some verb choices of you. Apart from these, everthing is perfect and if you correct these tiny mistakes, your journal will be greater. By the way, I find fluent to read your paragraph, it goes fluently and I have to say that you have a nice style of writing. It was a pleasure for me to read your journal. Thank you Arif :)